Marriage: For Women Only

I wrote a few “scripts” for a few short one-minute video spots. The videos will be online someday, for now - enjoy the write ups.

Women, you have married an immature, pre-adolescent, festering ball of ego.

Every man thinks he is his wife’s “knight in shining armor.”

He needs to know that you appreciate all he does, and that you depend on him to solve your problems and make life bearable. If not, he thinks he has failed, and failing makes him feel very bad.

He needs to know that he is your big man and savior.

As hard as you work, and as difficult as your life’s challenges may be, you can’t raise these issues when he first walks in the door. When he comes home from a hard day, he is exhausted, beaten by his day, and he is not able to listen or be understanding. If you try to “show him how hard you work” and how difficult your life is, he will:

1. Consider you a complaining, ungrateful, useless freeloader and
2. Deep down he will feel like he has failed in his mission to provide and that you don’t respect him, what he does, and that he is not your “knight in shining armor.”

This is a death-sentence for his ego and he will react badly, angrily, and will not be able to listen or give you the time, space and attention that you deserve.

You need to be dressed nicely, greet him with a smile, ask him if he needs to sit down, give him a snack, pour him a drink, rub his shoulders, let him know how much you appreciate all he does for you, and give him a few minutes to relax.

Once he is comfortable, confident, and firmly in charge – then you can let him have it!

I stole some of this from a talk by Rabbi Akiva Tatz, you can find the original here.

July 19th, 2007 General, Marriage/Relationships