Marriage secrets: For Men Only

Still another video “script.”

Men, your wife needs to talk.

When she talks, she speaks out her feelings – she sees that you understand her, validate her emotions, and this makes her feel better – it makes her feel very good about you and your relationship.

When she starts talking, she will probably be emotional, and you are probably somehow the cause of her troubles. She will launch into a tirade, filled with wild exaggerations, seemingly directed at you.

Because you are a thickheaded half-monkey (i.e. the typical male), your giant (yet fragile) ego will be bruised, you will get defensive, and your most natural instinct will be to speak up and defend yourself.

WATCH OUT – this is a trap!

Keep your mouth shut, at all costs, don’t say anything – anything you do or say can and WILL be used against you.

Let her talk. Smile, be concerned, empathetic, understanding – and listen to her. Let her know you are listening by saying “Umm” “Uh huh” “Oh really” “Did she really say that?” “I am sorry, that must have really upset you” at points along the way.

When she is done, she will feel good, she got it all out and she knows that you care and understand. She will thank you for being a great husband, a good listener, kind, understanding, and exactly what she needs.

Your only job is to sit on your hands, bite your tongue, let her talk, and don’t be a defensive, stupid male.

July 19th, 2007 General, Marriage/Relationships