No State Worse Than Massachusetts.

I am not happy with Massachusetts today.

Here is my story.  I need to renew my registration for my car by the end of April (Thursday).  I received a letter in the mail that I could not renew until I paid all my old tickets.  It listed the tickets and told me I had to contact each municipality separately.  Not cool.  But it gets worse.

Ticket Number One:
This ticket is from Brookline.  I hate Brookline.  I hate everything Brookline stands for.  If you read the signs that welcome you to Brookline they say, “Welcome to Brookline.  Don’t Park In Our Town.”  Right away you know they are scum.

Last year, my wife’s father died.  She went to England and I was leaving the next day to join her for the funeral.  I went to Brookline to buy a book for my flight.  I parked and put a quarter in the meter.  The meter didn’t acknowledge my quarter!  I was not going to put another one in so I left and went to the store.  I came back five minutes later.  The meter maid was writing my ticket.  I yelled, “STOP!” and told her my story.  Unfortunately the meter maid was filth and kept writing.  She didn’t believe me and told me I could fight it if I wanted.  Who has time to do that?

In the end it cost me $65.  I hope they choke on it.

Ticket Number Two:
This ticket is from Amherst.  In October 2007 I was in Amherst meeting students and drinking coffee.  I noticed a cop writing tickets when I parked my car.  It was 2 o’clock.  I asked the cop, “Do I have until 5 or 6?”  He said, “6.”  The meter only let me feed it until 5.  At 5:05 I went out to put in more money.  There was already a ticket on my car marked at 5:01.  The despicable slime came back, stood by my car, and wrote the ticket the second it expired!

In the end it cost me $50.  At least the Parking Clerk is super-friendly on the phone and very helpful and empathetic.

Ticket Number Three:
Boston.  I never got a ticket!  One day a letter came in the mail and said I owed $53.  I blew it off too – who has time to waste dealing with all this nonsense?

In the end it cost me $73.

Total: $188 for nothing.  Impeach Deval.  Fire Menino.  And I still have to pay the fee to renew my registration!

April 28th, 2009 Politics