Chometz - for sale on eBay
Can you do this? This dude is selling his chometz on eBay. Happy Passover.
1 comment March 30th, 2007
Jewish Issues
Pope updates hell
Good news, the Pope confirms that hell is real and eternal:
HELL is a place where sinners really do burn in an everlasting fire, and not just a religious symbol designed to galvanize the faithful, Pope Benedict XVI has said.
Addressing a parish gathering in a northern suburb of Rome, the Pope said that in the modern world many people, including some believers, had forgotten that if they failed to “admit blame and promise to sin no more”, they risked “eternal damnation - the inferno”.
Hell “really exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more”.
I was getting nervous that maybe hell was just a figment of my imagination. As a Jew, I assume that the Pope probably thinks I am going there, but that is ok – I have been complaining about the cold for a while and hell will probably solve my problems – kind of like an everlasting trip to Miami. I can take that.
The bad news is that in October the Pope expressed issues he has with purgatory calling it “only a theological hypothesis” and not a “definitive truth of the faith.”
Bummer.
3 comments March 27th, 2007
Yom Patrick hachassid
Why are my neighbors drunk and wearing green today?
At the risk of being xenophobic, according to Wikipedia the shamrock (another drunken green thing bamboozled up and down my block) was a tool used by Pat to explain the trinity to heathens. Additionally, the famous story about the snakes is probably hyperbole, but a useful tale to explain Pat’s success at riding the Isle of pagans.
Hmmm, maybe this is a holiday nice Jewish boys and girls should refrain from celebrating… I mean I like beer and all, and green is the color of spirulina, but….
1 comment March 17th, 2007
Shame on you Reform Movement
The Reform Movement is attempting to bully its way into Israeli society and religious life:
Leaders of Reform Judaism from around the world opened a conference in Jerusalem on Thursday whose agenda included a multimillion-dollar expansion of activities in Israel and a demand that Prime Minister Ehud Olmert take steps to officially recognize the movement and its conversions and rabbis.
This attempt is wrong and flies in the face of the democratic principles the Reform Movement claims to espouse.
Like it or not, the reason the views of Orthodox Jewry predominate in Israeli society and law is because the majority of Israelis identify with those values and beliefs. Over 20% of the Kenneset are representatives from specifically “Orthodox” parties (not to mention the Orthodox members from the secular parties); major cities like Jerusalem are not only Orthodox, but also predominantly Charedi (usually translated as “ultra-orthodox” – an incorrect and derogatory term) including the mayor and most of the city council. And while the bulk of the Israeli Sephardi community would not be considered “religious” in Israel, by American standards they would still be basically “Orthodox” (i.e. they keep kosher, would never intermarry, they believe in God and would never pray anywhere but an Orthodox synagogue with separate seating for men and women). The Reform Movement is simply out of touch and for the most part irrelevant to the majority of Israelis.
If Israelis identified as Reform, or even if the Reform Movement could claim a major base of support in Israel, then we would have what to talk about. But they don’t and the Reform Movement should cease trying to strong-arm and pressure the Israeli government into accepting their customs and practices, especially since they are alien and inconsistent with those of the majority of Israelis.
2 comments March 15th, 2007
Trouble seems to follow those Neturei Karta guys
This is wild.
On a recent tour in Poland to honor the great Chassidic Rabbi, Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk, a prominent member of the Jewish community hit a member of the Neturei Karta, i.e. the “Jewish man who kissed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.” As an act of appreciation, this man was called up to read the Torah in synagogue. (Read the full article.)
As far as I have heard, members of Neturei Karta were on Arafat’s payroll. Anyone have any comments?
6 comments March 12th, 2007
Drink on Purim, but don’t be a slob
In the spirit of Purim, I thought it was a good idea to put together a few guidelines to help those of us, who only drink once a year, to drink responsibly and not be a drunken mess.
- Pick one drink and stick to it. If you like wine, drink wine. If you like beer, drink beer. Mixing and matching exotic combinations of alcohol is bad news – watch out.
- Drink water. According to sources, dehydration is the cause of hangovers. Drink plenty of water and when you are done (after ma’ariv, assuming you make it), drink more water.
- No sugar. Alcohol (especially beer) has an extremely high glycemic index. The extra sugar is a cause of dehydration and therefore hangovers. It will also upset your stomach and could cause vomiting.
- No mixed drinks. A Purim meal is not a social club; don’t drink things like rum and Coke, vodka and orange juice, etc. Mixing drinks usually means adding sugar and should be avoided.
- The “hair of the dog”. This is a trick used by rock stars and college students during spring break. The next morning, after a long day of serious drinking, wake up and start your day with a beer. Apparently it numbs the effects of a hangover. (Not recommended).
- Eat. Drinking without eating is a recipe for disaster.
The following idea is brought down in classic Jewish sources - “Nichnas yayin yotze sod” – “Put in the wine and the secrets come out.” The secrets can come out on Purim, not your Purim meal.
Please add any additional advice or tricks you know about and have an amazing Purim!
1 comment February 26th, 2007
Seinfeld, so not cool
Jerry lost a $100,000 court case last week. He went to get a new apartment and decided he didn’t have to pay the real estate agent’s commission. Why not? Because when he wanted to look at the place the agent was not only unable to make it, but wouldn’t even return his calls!
Fair enough right?
Unfortunately for Jerry, he wanted to look at the place on Saturday (i.e. Shabbos) and the agent with the listing was a religious Jew. Not only that, but she told Jerry beforehand that she kept the Shabbos and would not be able to help him, or return his calls on Saturday. She took him to court and won (and Jerry lost).
I am sorry Jerry, but give us a break. It seems that the Seinfeld people have a lot of trouble respecting the rights and differences of others.
As a side note, I heard that Michael Richards (the Seinfeld guy with the racist problems) was on the Jesse Jackson show apologizing. Jesse said, “This man is sick and needs healing.” Jesse, didn’t you once call NYC “Hymie Town”? Maybe you can send him to the same place you went to for “healing.”
Add comment January 21st, 2007
Borat - the Jew
It turns out that Sacha Baron Cohen (AKA Borat) is not only Jewish (obviously), but according to CNN is devout as well:
“I think part of the movie shows the absurdity of holding any form of racial prejudice, whether it’s hatred of African-Americans or of Jews,” said [Sacha] Baron Cohen, a devout Jew who keeps Kosher and observes the Sabbath when he can.“
What I find fascinating is how this nice Jewish boy has the ability to bring out the best in people. Take a look at these rednecks, funny right?
3 comments November 17th, 2006
By the numbers - just how many Jews are in America?
As a follow up to my last post, I did some research and found this listing of the number of Jews in different countries around the world. According to this site, there are about 6 million Jews out of 300 million Americans – i.e. 2% of Americans are Jewish. They also claim that America has the world’s largest Jewish population, followed by Israel with a close second. I thought this had changed and Israel was now number one – has anyone heard differently? Also interesting – if you click on the link for the United States, it lists Jewish population by state – NY has the largest (over 8% surprise surprise) with Northwestern states like Wyoming and Idaho with the least. Anyone want to move with me to Montana?
Any way you slice it, it is completely insane that us little Jews, constituting only 2% of all Americans, somehow have managed to get elected to 13 seats in the Senate and at least 30 in the House.
Add comment November 11th, 2006
Jew power
There are now 13 Jews in the US Senate – how cool is that? I don’t know if I did my math correctly, but Jews are about .013% of the American population (about 4 million Jews live in the US and there are 300 million Americans) – this means we are much more powerful and successful then we should be. My only question is why do 87% of all Jews vote Democrat?
8 comments November 9th, 2006